Saturday, March 31, 2012


These are happy bikes.

I used to cycle.
360 mile trips.
I used to have amazing legs because of it.
Cycling was my only transportation for years.
I loved it because you see everything and it is really quiet except for the wind.
Until a huge dog decides that you should die by his jaws or a heart attack.

Bicycles are now a trend for weddings.
And they can be a fun theme.
But seriously everyone, themes should make some sense.
Or absolute nonsense just for the fun of it.
Themes can be based on a color, an item, an era, a book, whatever strikes your fancy.
And yes, we girls have been planning our weddings since we were 5 years old.
But I feel for some of these grooms.
God bless them for going along with their bride when she picks a rainbow butterfly sparkle theme.

This is not a wedding bicycle photo.
But the idea could be used by stacking it up with flowers,
or clowns, or something.
It is just too cute not to add to this post.

Bicycles AND a balloon bouquet?
See my post on balloons.
This is a couple in Russia I think.

Beach cruisers at a beach wedding?
Transportation that make sense.

I just had to add it.

These two actually look like real cyclists.

In China it makes sense to ride a bike.
Too many people means too many cars means too much smog.

This is cute.
Plus she has nice legs.

She is laughing because he can't get the bike with
two bodies to move in a dead grass meadow.

We haven't decided a theme for our wedding yet.
Still need to decide the venue.
But it won't be bicycles.
I will be damned if I am going to get my dress caught in the chain.
Now I realize that you will probably all say WTF when I post our wedding photos and you see our theme.
That was a reaction I heard more than once regarding my like of graffiti for a background for our venue.
Don't get me wrong, I abhor graffiti for the most part.
If you don't own the building it is not your canvas.
Keep your stupid spray can on your own stuff, your car, your room, your house.
Yes, I am being hypocritical.

I leave you with a final bicycle photo.
I swear if someone stole this happy bike
the Karma Gods would cut their feet off.

Monday, March 26, 2012


A nice thing about getting married at this age, is I am free to choose to skip any traditions that I do not like.
And since we are paying for it ourselves, we get to make all the decisions and I am to the point in life where I stand up for myself a bit better.
I am not a big fan of wedding trends partly because most are for younger couples.
Hence no unity candle to dust for the next 35 years.
No unity sand to find a place for on the mantle.
I would most likely knock it over along with Fifi's ashes and that would just be so sad.
I don't have to throw a bouquet to young women who don't want to catch it anyways.
We don't have to cut the cake for a photo, hell, we don't even have to have cake.
Really, what is the big deal with cutting a cake?
And no, I am not having those cute little adorable cupcakes that make you wish they were 3 times as big.
I still prefer the bride to save the first look for her walk down the aisle.
And I don't want to sit at a table by ourselves at the reception.

I am also not a fan of stuffy and staid.
I might be 54 but I am neither matronly nor proper.
A wedding should be a celebration of whatever is the true to the heart of the couple.
Not what is popular or what is expected.
As a woman there is a level of dignity which is so lovely.
As a girl there is fun.
The two can work together

There are many things that do not fit my personal wedding style, typewriters, suitcases, mason jars, bunting, balloons, cupcakes, candy stations, bicycles, mustaches.
Well maybe balloons as decor if they are done right, but I am not going to hold them for a photo.
And jumping.
Why does everyone jump now?

What I do love is chandeliers, draperies, long tables, lighting, burlap, peonies, hydrangeas, baby breath, and Fred.
Yeah, he is the guy I am marrying.

So, let's begin with the balloon trend.
Balloons are for birthdays.
And children.
And clowns.
Okay, balloons in pretty colors make me happy.
Perhaps I could deal with balloons at my wedding IF....

I were getting married in Paris.
Paris France.
Not Paris Texas.

And this is fun and festive.
Daytime outdoor wedding.
The balloons look like flowers in the air

I don't believe I have ever seen balloon sellers hanging around the farm.

For color yes.
Otherwise I just don't get it.

Up, up and away in my beautiful balloon.
It is a song.
You had to be there.
Hence my being old.

Yeah, they are a sweet couple in love,
but where did the forest balloons come from?

Like I said, it is a trend.
In 5 years I don't think you will see balloons at weddings.
Or a lot of things that are cool at the moment.
Tried and true traditional are always beautiful and classic but a bit impersonal.

Or maybe I am just old.

I do love the humor of this one for an engagement shoot.

Ceremony Order of Service

Traditions cover so many areas of life.
They are important.
They carry our history with us.
Wedding traditions go way back and change over time and are different with each culture.
But what is important to each couple varies with their unique personalities.
I do believe it is nice to consider what traditions parents and grandparents feel should be carried on, particularly if you are a young couple.
But it is still your wedding.
It should feel like the two of you.
Grandma has no place trying to make this the wedding of her dreams.
And Mom should be your biggest support.

Because we are adults (that means 'not young' anymore), and this is not our first marriage, many things are just not important to us.
At this point they would be 'the show'.
We don't want 'show'.
We want meaning.
And fun.
And forever.
That is really what a wedding is about.
Marrying the person who touched your heart and soul, has become your best friend and will be by your side until the end.
There isn't a better deal in life.

So here we go, prepare yourself.
Oh yeah, please don't take offense if these are important to you, I wish you a lifetime and beyond of love and joy together, this is just me.

For A Traditional Wedding Ceremony, this would be the Order of Service

Ushers seat the guests, with prelude music playing
No ushers or seats

Special Music begins
We have to change music?
What is wrong with 'Wasted Days & Wasted Nights' by Freddy Fender?

Mothers/Parents/VIPs enter and light candelabras
Okay, if there are VIP's then is everyone else just 'nobodies'?
I have always hated that term.

Parents of the Bride and Groom are seated with the Bride's Mother being seated last
No seats remember.

Officiant and Groom enter and proceed to the front
Maybe a circle for the guests so there is not really a 'front', maybe Fred and I walk in together, maybe us with the Officiant (our favorite idea).

Bridal party enters and proceeds to the front.
Not sure how this will be yet.

Ring Bearer and/or Flower Girl enter, proceed to front, sit down.
Can we still get married without those?

Music concludes for the Bridal Party
Is this still 'Wasted Days and Wasted Nights'?

Ushers unroll the aisle runner
I'm sorry, this sounds like a track star is being unrolled.

Audience is asked to rise and welcome the Bride
So this is ALL ABOUT ME!
I can handle that.
High 5's all around!

Music begins for the Bride’s entrance (Processional music)
New music?
What now?
How about the Rawhide theme, you know...
'Rollin' rollin' rollin', Keep movin', movin', movin'.
What do ya think? It does have a nice line comin' up....
'My true love will be waitin', be waiting at the end of my ride.'

Bride’s music concludes
Thank God!

Opening commentary
I like this part...
Welcome everyone and be our support in our marriage.

Bride and Groom light "family candles" to represent their families
Isn't the one candle crap later enough?
And you can forget the sand thing too!
I mean where do you put this shit at home?

Bride and Groom present flowers to parents

"Declarations Of Intent" by Bride and Groom
Don't we know why we are here?

First Reading, religious or romantic literature
Sort of cool, just make sure it is something that catches everyone off guard, please don't make them yawn.

Music interlude, solo, etc.
Can I sing?

Second Reading'
Okay now something theatrical like Shakespeare in costume with real bullets and poison.

Special Music (musical interlude, or musical and vocal performance)
Crap, okay how about marching band music to change things up a bit?

Exchange of Wedding Vows
Now we are getting somewhere.

Blessing of the Rings

Exchange of Wedding Rings
In my head...'Don't drop it. Don't drop it.'

Audience recites Lord's Prayer
I like prayers.

Officiant's Prayer of Blessing for the Bride and Groom
Good shit here.
This is important.

Bride and Groom light Unity Candle (music in background)

Final commentary
Shut up, get to the kiss, the kiss!

Bride and Groom kiss

Introduction of the new couple by the Officiant'
Can we be introduced as 'His and Her Highness'?
Naw, Mr and Mrs Kincheloe is perfect.

Recessional music begins
Yay, RECESS! I love recess.

Bride and Groom exit
Or not.
We could surprise everyone and disappear via magicians.

Bridal party exits and forms reception line
Reception line?
Not the old way, gotta work on this one.

Officiant's instructions to the audience
Give Fred and Amber money, lots of money.

'So as you can see, we are going with a more simple plan.

Romantic but simple.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Good The Bad And The Ugly

Our wedding will most likely be quite intimate, 30 or less people.
Also being older, I don't feel the need or appropriateness of a large wedding party.
If we have attendants it will be my 2 daughters and Fred's choice.
But....if we were having a large wedding, these, are not even a slight drunken possibility.
I mean OMG!
Who hates their bridesmaids this much?

This looks like DOT candies.

I think these glow in the dark.

Shiney does not make ladies look thin.

Whipped butter.

Barney the flamenco dancer.

Too much red, too much ruffle, too much everything.

Of course you can wear it again. Bahahaha.

3 people wide.

The blue ruffles look like ocean waves.

Look at me look at me look at me.

Align Left

Do you really want your groom and your father to look at your bridesmaids and think 'I need to hit that'.

Now for the dresses that a bride who actually likes her bridesmaids would choose.
Pretty, classy, and wearable.

Black, off the shoulder, tasteful satin.

So lovely, ladylike, beautiful color.

Gorgeous evening dress.

Sweet grey strapless dress.

Plum, ruffles and so rewearable.

Sweet short evening dress.

One shoulder navy dress.

Dramatic asymmetrical ruffle.

Great black short dress.

Okay, I cave on sexy with this one.

So what will my daughters wear?
That is a surprise.