Budgeting The We Do

Planning a wedding as a 54 year old is quite different than when you are younger.

It is a 2nd marriage which brings maturity over innocence.

Both have their beauty.

There is no one to please but ourselves.

Of course it means that our guest enjoying the day or evening is hugely important also.

We can skip any tradition, create our own new ones, and have a wedding that is a reflection of us as a couple without worrying if we did it right according to the books.

We truly do not want gifts.

Okay, maybe chocolate gifts.

And winning lottery tickets.

What we really want is to create a very special ceremony

(that is not us in the photo, because if it was I would be falling in the water, flailing to get up and spitting out seaweed)

and then a kick ass dinner party.

Yeah, but with girls too.

We plan on having an intimate wedding, probably around 30 guests.

On my side alone there is 51 of the immediate family, their spouses, children and their children's children.

Yep, we are breeders.

That does not even include my aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, etc. and it just gets insane from there.

So it will be children, parents, siblings, spouses, and only the very closest friends, my half is just 16-18.

I do feel that a wedding is deeply private, actually just between 2 people and God in that moment.

We want to celebrate the miracles of love and life and enjoy every moment and each person who will share it with us.

So far this is the basics of our budget....

$5,000 excluding rings

Attire ~ $700

Venue ~ $1,000

Food ~ $1,000

Decor ~ $500

Floral ~ $500

Music ~ $300

Photography ~ $500

Day of assistant & clergy $500

Our biggest priority budget wise is food.

I am pretty sure I am wearing white and there are so many gorgeous to kill for dresses out there, but seriously, $10,000?

I don't need to look like a virginal princess.

I need a dress that feels right for me and the hottest shoes I can afford and still walk in.

Plus I am a fan of dress hacking....finding a basic style that you want, then having it altered to fit properly and adding your own bling.

Fred, it is his choice which is probably a suit.

I have seen him in a suit, and oh my, the honeymoon could begin before the ceremony.

Finding a venue has been the toughest part.

There are just so many yawn-ho hum-boring-4 walled places out here where we live.

Like I have said before, give me different and I can make lovely.

My first 2 choices have said no due to

1. a historical building

and 2. an overload of larger weddings which they prefer and require full weekend use of the whole place which I don't want or need.

The next 2 required a larger number of people.

and....

The next 1 is just too damn expensive.

Well then there is always a forest one that runs about $11,000 + food, music and decor, but whoa, if money was no object....

Okay if money was no object there are a hell of a lot of options available.

And then many venues that provide tables & chairs which is great because it is one less thing to figure out, require you to use their catering.

What if I think their food so 'sucks the big one'?

I would like more input because the food is a huge priority for me, really huge and I want the reception to be amazingly yummy and fun.

The private catering around here is often tri tip or chicken, wow, let's step out of the box a bit huh, hahahaha.

But since our group is small I have hope that I can find a creative chef.

I can also save on decor if the venue is interesting and/or gorgeous.

And for flowers I really prefer simplicity, although peonies, the f@*&%!g most expensive in demand flower, are definitely a favorite.

For me, I am not a fan of overly done arrangements and bouquets preferring a simple loose agraingement which is always less expensive, although I do love looking at the fancy shmancy stuff.

This is more my style.....

As far as music goes, I would love to hire something different and fun, perhaps a reggae group....

celtic....

bluegrass....

zydeco....

big band orchestra....

or opera singer etc....

But alas it is not in the budget.

And I don't care what you might think, it would be a hell of a good time.

We will most likely create our own playlist and use an ipod or computer plus the technical stuff that makes it louder.

Obviously that will be Fred's job as my total musical know how is 'I like it. I hate it'.

Basically it is background for the dinner and then hopefully some dance music.

We are most likely not having a photographer

and will ask family to take some, or perhaps hire a student.

I just can't see the expense when we don't need all the formal perfect photos with our huge, count them - 3 plus us, wedding party.

Obviously I feel that photos are very important, they are the memories of your life, but I believe we can have lovely memories even if the lighting and posing and retouching are a bit real and imperfect.

Clergy, I mean how much can it cost for 30 minutes of work?

I may have a big surprise in store regarding that.

Yes, there will be a day of person.

I think a gay gentleman is the way to go.

Let's be honest, they create the best weddings.

I will have everything lined up, drawn out, etc., their job is to make sure of everything.

Since it is a small wedding it is very doable, there is no flower girl to force down the aisle, no ring bearer to keep out of the mud, no mothers who need a few martinis and valiums to sit down and behave, although there will be a mother she is quite gracious, also no groomsmen puking from the night before bachelor party, or bridesmaids dancing topless on the bar, and on and on.

It is something I would love to do myself, IF it wasn't my wedding.

I want to enjoy the day as every bride should, peacefully, joyfully and full of love.

And really, if the cake tips over it is just a cake.

As long as the bride and groom, he and I, both show up and no one dies, then it is a great day.

The projects we will do ourselves includes pretty much all the decor which I love to do and after working on table setting luncheons for years am fairly capable of.

Floral, simplicity once again.

Music, download and create our own playlist of music we love.

Extras, invites, favors, details, etc..

Now, I have seen rustic until the cows came home.

Vintage to the point of OMG again?

And DIY paperie everywhere, are there any trees left?

Will I use a bit of this and that from these trends?

Maybe.

You can dish out the I told you so's later.