Diana Torte

"My woman times have started".
That is probably the funniest thing I have heard in quite a while.
It sort of makes you feel like a strong woman.
A log choppin' woman.
Livin' out of a covered wagon out on the prairie.
Spittin' chaw.
Guttin' things.

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P.M.S. What does it stand for?
There is a whole slew of pretty funny terms but these are my favorites.
Every one of which I have felt at one time or another.

*Plainly, Men Suck
*Pass My Shotgun
*People Make me Sick
*Putting up with Men's Shit
*Pardon My Sobbing

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I love this next joke because I understand it, PMS or not.
It just sometimes requires PMS to spew out the evil we are storing that normally we are too polite to say.

Q: How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One.
ONE!!
And do you know WHY it only takes ONE?
Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a F&@k#!g light bulb.
They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT.
They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT.
And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS.
But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!
AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID @*!#$% LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!
WHY?!
BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT D@*% THE TRASH!!

I'm sorry... what did you ask me?

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This blog has lost all dignity today.
Damn!
Oops.

So what is your comfort food during your woman times?
Mine for the past 30 years has been a 'banana royal two scoop sundae' from Baskin Robbins with mint chocolate chip, banana, hot fudge, whipped cream, almonds and a cherry.
Works every time.

We have a little bistro in town.
This dessert is the reason I go.
It works also.

I tried making it with See's toffee more than once, which is much better in large part because of the great almonds they use, but I just ate most of the candy so there was never enough left to make the torte.
This is a great dessert for company, impressive, rich, easy, and make ahead.

DIANA TORTE
Rewritten for simplicity
From A Treasury of Great Recipes by Mary and Vincent Price
Serves 8-12

24 crisp macaroon cookies, such as 'Mothers'
1 quart chocolate ice cream, Baskin Robbins or Haagen Dazs
1 quart coffee ice cream, see above
4-8 T dark chocolate sauce, Hersheys dark syrup works well
1 1/2 c English toffee candy roughly chopped, See's or Almond Rocha(about 15 pieces)
More dark chocolate sauce
Fresh whipped cream

Lightly oil an 8 inch spring form pan.
Crush macaroon cookies and spread half on the bottom of the pan.
Slightly soften 1 quart chocolate ice cream and spread on top of the crushed macaroons.
Drizzle 2-4 T dark chocolate sauce over the ice cream.
Spread the other half of the crushed macaroons on top of the chocolate ice cream layer lightly pressing into the ice cream.
Freeze about 1 hour.
Slightly soften 1 quart of coffee ice cream and spread on top of the second layer of macaroons.
Drizzle 2-4 T dark chocolate sauce over the ice cream.
Crush 1 1/2 cups of English toffee candy and spread over the top lightly pressing into the ice cream.
Freeze approximately 4-5 hours or until very firm.

To serve
Set at room temperature about 10 minutes.
Loosen the sides of the spring form pan and run a knife around the sides.
Place on a large round serving platter.
Leave at room temperature for approximately 10-15 minutes before slicing and serving.

This is 'before' adding a last drizzle of dark chocolate syrup.

Drizzle a little chocolate sauce onto each plate and place a slice of torte on top or drizzle the sauce on top of each slice.
A bit of whipped cream of course.
Chocolate curls if you like (I like).
And the best hot coffee you can make.

And this is 'after'.
I think the photo speaks for itself.
However, for those on a diet, you can skip this part.

This freezes well for about a week, just wrap very well.