And So We Begin

And so we begin.

Planning has sort of begun now.

I need to have a place to start from, I think most of us do in order to plan a successful party.

I suppose some people just go and get married.

That is fine if it is what works for them.

But it doesn't work for me.

If I just went and 'Did It' I would always be resentful and have so many regrets.

There are some gorgeous city halls to get married in.

Take San Francisco for example, everything about is is beautiful....

Yeah, my city hall doesn't look anything like that.

Plus they over charged me for months on my water bill so I sort of hate them.

But then there are also some tacky sad city hall weddings.

This couple doesn't even look happy.

Maybe it is because everything around her is dirty.

Eww.

Besides I sort of have an issue with getting married by the government.

Well actually I have an issue with the government in general.

So I don't really want them involved in a moment that means everything to me.

I would much prefer God to be involved.

It just seems that a marriage is a bit spiritual.

Celebrating is important to me.

It makes the moments of our lives have a bit more significance.

We celebrate holidays, birthdays and the Super Bowl.

I think getting married is just as important.

I want to celebrate our marriage sort of like this....

This is the wedding of my dreams that was held in Guatemala at dusk.

Old buildings, just enough decor, love all around.

So, I just ordered a dress.

A lot like the original Teri Jon one I found for $600 in style but no sequins and I love it just as much plus it was 75% less.

Very wearable again, hence cruises, Paris, new years, etc..

Now I have to lose like 850 pounds.

Just kidding.

Kidding about the 850.

I definitely will have to lose and firm but what a great reason to do so.

Marrying the man I waited 53 years to find.

This was the original dress I wanted, but it was sold out at the designers.

Unless I want to travel the country to try & find one.

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Well surprise surprise....

The dress from Cache just arrived.

2 days after I ordered it online.

Simply beautiful!!!

I am now drinking V8 because after looking at it I have decided I am a blimpo.

It is 10 times more gorgeous than the photo I saw.

Sophisticated and glamorous, exactly what I hoped for.

Now we have a place to begin from.

I have a belief that there are three ways to decide the style of your wedding....

* Venue and season or

* Style of the brides dress or

* What ever is the fantasy you have in your heart.

You can base every idea and decision off of any of these ideas.

I didn't have a fantasy, well not a wedding fantasy anyway, I prefer the naughty kind.

I love a bit of almost everything when it comes to wedding styles.

I did know what I didn't want though regarding decor etc..

Nothing homespun & no girly fou fou.

I like elegance or crazy fun.

Perhaps I can pull off a bit of both.

You know the more I write or talk the more my head spins with ideas.

Dress Selection, Augh

So, what is an appropriate dress in this situation?

'The situation' you say?

No, I am not getting married at the Jersey Shore.

Although they would make an interesting table at the reception.

But then so would the Hell's Angels.

Interesting, not enjoyable.

Well I did find a dress by Teri Jon at a local boutique, that is if they can order one in my size.

Triple what I had hoped to pay unfortunately BUT....this is actually a dress that could be worn again & again.

Holidays, a cruise, Paris, New York, etc..

The hints are for Fred.

It is sheath in shape, sort of boat neck which looks great on me, I thought beige but the website says platinum, cutwork style fabric with a scallop hem, with clear sequence and so much prettier than in the photo.

This is the very first dress that grabbed me and wouldn't let go.

If I eventually get tired of the sparkle I can clip the sequence off, if I get totally bored I can shorten it into a blouse.

See, simple and sophisticated.

Maybe a bit of a 'Mad Men' theme.

I should probably watch the show then.

That is not me in the photo.

Damn.

Budgeting The We Do

Planning a wedding as a 54 year old is quite different than when you are younger.

It is a 2nd marriage which brings maturity over innocence.

Both have their beauty.

There is no one to please but ourselves.

Of course it means that our guest enjoying the day or evening is hugely important also.

We can skip any tradition, create our own new ones, and have a wedding that is a reflection of us as a couple without worrying if we did it right according to the books.

We truly do not want gifts.

Okay, maybe chocolate gifts.

And winning lottery tickets.

What we really want is to create a very special ceremony

(that is not us in the photo, because if it was I would be falling in the water, flailing to get up and spitting out seaweed)

and then a kick ass dinner party.

Yeah, but with girls too.

We plan on having an intimate wedding, probably around 30 guests.

On my side alone there is 51 of the immediate family, their spouses, children and their children's children.

Yep, we are breeders.

That does not even include my aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, etc. and it just gets insane from there.

So it will be children, parents, siblings, spouses, and only the very closest friends, my half is just 16-18.

I do feel that a wedding is deeply private, actually just between 2 people and God in that moment.

We want to celebrate the miracles of love and life and enjoy every moment and each person who will share it with us.

So far this is the basics of our budget....

$5,000 excluding rings

Attire ~ $700

Venue ~ $1,000

Food ~ $1,000

Decor ~ $500

Floral ~ $500

Music ~ $300

Photography ~ $500

Day of assistant & clergy $500

Our biggest priority budget wise is food.

I am pretty sure I am wearing white and there are so many gorgeous to kill for dresses out there, but seriously, $10,000?

I don't need to look like a virginal princess.

I need a dress that feels right for me and the hottest shoes I can afford and still walk in.

Plus I am a fan of dress hacking....finding a basic style that you want, then having it altered to fit properly and adding your own bling.

Fred, it is his choice which is probably a suit.

I have seen him in a suit, and oh my, the honeymoon could begin before the ceremony.

Finding a venue has been the toughest part.

There are just so many yawn-ho hum-boring-4 walled places out here where we live.

Like I have said before, give me different and I can make lovely.

My first 2 choices have said no due to

1. a historical building

and 2. an overload of larger weddings which they prefer and require full weekend use of the whole place which I don't want or need.

The next 2 required a larger number of people.

and....

The next 1 is just too damn expensive.

Well then there is always a forest one that runs about $11,000 + food, music and decor, but whoa, if money was no object....

Okay if money was no object there are a hell of a lot of options available.

And then many venues that provide tables & chairs which is great because it is one less thing to figure out, require you to use their catering.

What if I think their food so 'sucks the big one'?

I would like more input because the food is a huge priority for me, really huge and I want the reception to be amazingly yummy and fun.

The private catering around here is often tri tip or chicken, wow, let's step out of the box a bit huh, hahahaha.

But since our group is small I have hope that I can find a creative chef.

I can also save on decor if the venue is interesting and/or gorgeous.

And for flowers I really prefer simplicity, although peonies, the f@*&%!g most expensive in demand flower, are definitely a favorite.

For me, I am not a fan of overly done arrangements and bouquets preferring a simple loose agraingement which is always less expensive, although I do love looking at the fancy shmancy stuff.

This is more my style.....

As far as music goes, I would love to hire something different and fun, perhaps a reggae group....

celtic....

bluegrass....

zydeco....

big band orchestra....

or opera singer etc....

But alas it is not in the budget.

And I don't care what you might think, it would be a hell of a good time.

We will most likely create our own playlist and use an ipod or computer plus the technical stuff that makes it louder.

Obviously that will be Fred's job as my total musical know how is 'I like it. I hate it'.

Basically it is background for the dinner and then hopefully some dance music.

We are most likely not having a photographer

and will ask family to take some, or perhaps hire a student.

I just can't see the expense when we don't need all the formal perfect photos with our huge, count them - 3 plus us, wedding party.

Obviously I feel that photos are very important, they are the memories of your life, but I believe we can have lovely memories even if the lighting and posing and retouching are a bit real and imperfect.

Clergy, I mean how much can it cost for 30 minutes of work?

I may have a big surprise in store regarding that.

Yes, there will be a day of person.

I think a gay gentleman is the way to go.

Let's be honest, they create the best weddings.

I will have everything lined up, drawn out, etc., their job is to make sure of everything.

Since it is a small wedding it is very doable, there is no flower girl to force down the aisle, no ring bearer to keep out of the mud, no mothers who need a few martinis and valiums to sit down and behave, although there will be a mother she is quite gracious, also no groomsmen puking from the night before bachelor party, or bridesmaids dancing topless on the bar, and on and on.

It is something I would love to do myself, IF it wasn't my wedding.

I want to enjoy the day as every bride should, peacefully, joyfully and full of love.

And really, if the cake tips over it is just a cake.

As long as the bride and groom, he and I, both show up and no one dies, then it is a great day.

The projects we will do ourselves includes pretty much all the decor which I love to do and after working on table setting luncheons for years am fairly capable of.

Floral, simplicity once again.

Music, download and create our own playlist of music we love.

Extras, invites, favors, details, etc..

Now, I have seen rustic until the cows came home.

Vintage to the point of OMG again?

And DIY paperie everywhere, are there any trees left?

Will I use a bit of this and that from these trends?

Maybe.

You can dish out the I told you so's later.